American Idol Season 9 Girls Night 2

Before I begin this terrible mess of an episode, let me ask:

Where are Michael Castro?  Margo May?  Jess Wolfe?  Are these groups of boys and girls the best Season 9 could offer?  Do you expect me to believe that? 

Yes, I've been stalling for two days.  CSI:NY, CSI:LV, and The Mentalist are definitely worth my time rather than reliving this mess.  I also watched this with my mother and thank goodness for that zinfandel that kept me sane.  It's like every episode, every time Ryan Seacrest says "the best in America", American Idol is becoming a farce.  You can blame this on Adam, Kris, Allison, and the whole Season 8 but you can put these Season 9-ers against the likes of Kristy Lee Cook and Kellie Pickler and they will still PHAIL.

Of course, there are exceptions.  But they are definitely not "instant winners" to me.  Usually, you can tell a potential winner this early.  I called Fantasia, Taylor-Katharine, Kris-Adam, Kelly Clarkson, and Carrie Underwood as early as the semifinals.  The closest to that with this bunch is Lee DeWyze of the boys.


Crystal Bowersox, Long As I Can See the Light
There's a couple of things I have to be thankful for: first is Crystal being okay; second, for putting her first up tonight; and, CRYSTAL, THANK YOU FOR AUDITIONING THIS YEAR.  THIS COMPETITION NEEDS YOU!  I love these kinds of arrangements, where the song starts off with almost no backing music and it's just the singer's voice.  That's when you can really hear the quality of it.  What I love about Crystal is that it so natural to her.  She doesn't have to push too hard.  She has control over her instrument.  Crystal, if ever I happen to pass by someone who sings like you at the subway, I'd definitely stop and take a listen.  Raw natural talent here, guys.

Haeley Vaughn, The Climb
Holy mother of the heavens.  I am about to dislike the only Miley Cyrus song I willingly listened to and even considered singing.  Look me in the eye and tell me that Haeley is better than Jess Wolfe or Margo May.  I dare you.  But then again, how can you fuck up such a simple song?  Easy, if you don't have the voice for it.  On paper, Miley songs would've worked well with her, age-wise and everything.  But she didn't connect with the song at all.  Nor sang it well.  Doesn't matter now.  She was eliminated.  Thank you, America.  I don't have to listen to her ever again.

Lacey Brown, Kiss Me
Oh god another one.  And way to take a critque seriously.  Kara suggested her to do Sixpence None The Richer songs last week; she mentioned this song even!  And guess what... Lacey listened.  Positive: this does suit her voice better than last week's song.  But she doesn't sound any better.  At least she did something different to it.  The performance had a karaoke-ish vibe (Randy picked that up).  And I get what Simon was trying to say.  Lacey was like singing for survival and not for the win.

Katie Stevens, Put Your Records On
Megan Joy's song.  Sorry, this will forever be Megan's song.  Here's the thing, if Haeley and Katie exchanged songs... it would've worked better for both of them.  To Katie's credit, she did a much better job than her fellow sixteen-year-old.  The thing with her is that I feel she is an old soul.  I imagine that if she goes younger than this song, she'll be singing nursery rhymes.  What else is out there?  Disney Channel shit?  Beibernation?  Simon will surely rip anyone who does that a new one. 

Didi Benami, Lean on Me
Whut?  Uhm, song choice fail.  Second part of the song completely left her.  She couldn't get her notes.  I don't get it.  She did something right by going indie with the Ingrid Michaelson song.  WTF happened here?  I don't get it.  Randy once again was spot on.  Didi was trying too hard to show she could do the stuff she actually cannot instead of showcasing the aspects she's good at.  It wasn't good.

[I seriously had to take a break after this.  Putting on a Bonnie & Clyde song before going forward.]

Michelle Delamor, With Arms Wide Open
Holy crap.  I just DO NOT FUCKING GET IT.  Why?!  *headdesk*  Honey, it's like you were trying too hard.  None of it made any sense.  Too bad, you were better than Lacey, vocally -- she stays and you were eliminated.  Nothing more to say on this one.

Lilly Scott, A Change is Gonna Come
I'm coming clean.  When Adam Lambert did this... I didn't like it as much as the Adam-public did.  I'm not going to compare this one to Adam's version though.  I like this one.  It has the sound that I often gravitate to when looking for cover versions.  Lilly's with Crystal in my book - she's real and she's believable. 

Katelyn Epperley, The Scientist
Wow she looks awesome.  This reminds me of Natasha Bedingfield's Radio 1 Live Lounge performance.  [Simon mentioned it in his critique.]  I'm with Ellen, it's a bit on the very slow side.  But the vocals are great.  She controls her voice so well.  And oh song choice win!

Paige Miles, Walk Away
By Kelly Clarkson, co-written by Kara DioGuardi.  For some reason, I really dig Paige's voice.  But I often forget about her.  Maybe that's what she needs to work on.  That aside, I like this performance.  She seems to put soul in anything she sings. 

Siobhan Magnus, Think
It's awesome that American Idol is setting up the dark horses, having them perform last.  Lee for the dudes and Siobhan for the girls.  I really like Siobhan.  She's "Kris-Allen-boring" when not singing but whatever.  I don't think she knows how good she is compared to these other girls.  Oh man, forget the others! 

Overall, it was a painful night.  Sure there were good ones but the bad ones were SO FUCKING BAD they made me hate the whole night.  Is this is America?  Wow, a far cry from last year's talent.

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* Note: I started writing this review last night.  I was distracted by the CBS shows mentioned earlier, American Idiot Broadway cast pefroming at the USA/Vanity Fair event, and the London cast of Avenue Q.  And also, I just didn't want to do this.  I'm just in too deep to quit.