Garin College, You Bitch

So my life's kind of crazy right now, I have my end-of-year, FINAL high school exams ever beginning next week and my last full day of school ever tomorrow! Craziness! Can't believe after 13 torturous years of school, I'm finally free! Except... not really. I'm scared of the motivation I'm going to need to succeed at university next year, and scared that I won't even get in!

I really, really hate that the last few days of highschool should be carefree and fun yet I have no friends, because they all (except a select few) turned out to be assholes without an inkling of loyalty or understanding AND I have a fuckload of school assignments to rush and do! I guess I shouldn't expect to genuinely find amazing, life-long friends in a school with like 50 people in my year anyway. It's, in a way, quite funny because I'll pretty much be leaving school the same way I started. Friendless, misunderstood (which sounds pathetic, but it's true) and a bit of a freak - oh well. It's allowed me to focus pretty heavily on study which hasn't exactly been the top priority lately.

I've seriously struggled this year with being motivated with school work, I really don't want to be a hopeless drop-out and end up working minimum wage forever. So I work at Briscoes and it's been a pretty good part-time job, but the thought of working full-time makes me feel sick and the thought of it really is enough to motivate me to work my way out of it. I'd probably like it a whole lot more if, after nearly two years of working there I had been given a raise or something.. but I guess hard-work isn't exactly recognized in a store like that, so whatever, it's something that kind of motivates me to work harder. Peer pressure does also, but Garin has some real nerds that I shouldn't even bother comparing myself to, so I don't and won't.

Anyway, Economics assignment to finish and hand-in tomorrow - I SUCK at Economics so bloody badly! NEED to pass that internal or it's quite likely I will fail everything in Economics for the entire year, which is not as unlikely as it sounds. It was a subject I had to take because Garin, being the reminiscent-Nazi-concentration-camp it is, wouldn't allow me to choose my own pathway in life by choosing my own subjects.

Which reminds me, yesterday I was late to school. For the first time all year, and they gave me a study hall, which means I have to spent a lunch time locked in some lame room with a teacher making you work and be silent. Um, it's the only time I've ever been late and I'm 18 and it's the final week of school ever. I really hate Garin, and it's a shame my memories of highschool will never be truly fond. When adults tell me "highschool was the best time of my life", it makes me really scared for life because my highschool years have sucked it.