Nothing Much But The Rain...

Not a lot happening lately, so this is a blog about, quite frankly, nothing. Last few days I have spent in my routine of sleeping, gaming, working out (with little to show for it, frustratingly enough) and working through Season 3 of 'The O.C.', my favourite television show ever, as I believe I may have mentioned a few times if you're a regular reader. Which I don't believe I have many of, still, I manage to clock-up around 400 views a month and they can't all be my from my constant refreshing so... what gives, oh mysterious people?

I challenge YOU to leave me a comment on this post if you have read this, it'd be nice to know if someone is actually reading this and... IDK, it's just nice to know that occasionally I'm not completely alone with everything I do. Which trust me, is a feeling I experience more than I would deem my own "fair share".

I'm working tomorrow and Thursday 5pm-10pm, 8.45am-6pm (might be 5pm) Friday and Sunday, with Saturday off for Christmas day of course. Can I just let people know how completely unenthused I am about Christmas? It's honestly a nightmare, my Grandma is staying with us for 10 days and, even though I never get to see her, I'm really unattached from her and have almost nothing to do with her and it's always been like that really, I don't feel she has the slightest clue of who I am, than again I don't really figure my parents know me that well either. Ugh, god this sounds like the most stereotypical teenage thing ever. Well, probably cause it's true - I'm definitely not one of those people that are 'friends' with their parents, nor am I estranged, just a pretty standard, old-fashioned relationship with them - we talk, but never about anything beyond 'what I'm doing with my day' or 'how school's going', it just doesn't extend to anything deeper. Not that I'd want it to, but how could they know what's really going on if I haven't told them, and they haven't asked?

Well, "what is going on" you ask? I'm not sure, I've been feeling randomly depressed this evening and well... IDK, I guess it's just because I know that my 'childhood' is officially almost over as I'm off to university on February 20th which is less than two months away and it's kind of blowing my mind! My life is about to completely change and I have no idea what to make of it. Yes, opportunities, chance for a new life blah blah, I don't really do the pep-talks and positive thinking shit. I like to think of this world as a little more tangible and physical than that, I don't believe in energies and auras and shit like that to be honest. I'd like to, as I believe it would make life a lot more in-depth, but I just get sick of believing in things that I have never experienced and have never really witnessed. Catch my drift?

Basically I'm out of sorts and not sure what to expect, and since I'm a big boy I'm going to admit something. Yes I may have been instrumental in the way my friendships have turned out, but the facts are after 5 years of highschool, I've left with only about 5 people I really think I'll be talking to over the next few years. In the long-term? I'll be lucky to have one. That's normal, I get, but I mean, really, only 5? Well like I have blogged earlier, and which upset a bunch of people at my school, the unfortunate truths are Garin College was a very small school and friendships popped up in some unexpected and unlikely places, not due to being a 'last choice' or anything, but being the only options available. I'll skip naming-names because I'm a kind person, but really, some of the people I've been sitting with the last two years at lunch times, are we really friends? Did we really connect? Do I know you, and you know me? No, not at all. We just talked, glazed over things, never thought about it. It's a shame cause I'd have loved to have made some good friends, but I just found I clicked with few people. In fact, I click with few people generally - and they don't have a lot in common.

Still, I am not friendless and for that I am thankful to everyone who I talk to, and if I talk to you on a general basis, that means I appreciate you a lot and am glad you're part of my life. So we'll be in contact!