03.12 Sat

S A T U R D A Y
March 12, 2011
Brad Wilber

Theme: None, because it's Saturday.

Hey, everybody. Doug here, filling in for PuzzleGirl. She had to go to bed early last night because she's attending a big birthday bash today. I wonder whose birthday it is. Hmmm. David Letterman, Vince Gill, Claire Danes, and Brooklyn Decker all have birthdays on March 12th. She's probably at the Vince Gill party, though I'm sure she received invites to all four.

I was happy to see that today's puzzle is by Brad Wilber. His puzzles are always a treat to solve. Brad and I have collaborated on a few themeless puzzles, some of which you'll be solving in the weeks and months ahead. So it's hard for me to gauge the difficulty of today's puzzle. After having worked with Brad, I have a pretty good handle on his construction style. I didn't have much trouble with this one, but your results may vary. I know there are some solvers who consider Brad to be one of the toughest constructors around. Let's dive in.

Bullets:

• 1A: Closer's bane (BLOWN SAVE). Knockout entry at 1-Across. Loved it. And for me, this clue was a hanging curveball right over the plate.
• 17A: Spoiled brat, stereotypically (ONLY CHILD). Before you sibling-less folks jump all over Brad & Rich, note the "stereotypically" qualifier.
• 22A: ___ Lisa Vito: "My Cousin Vinny" role (MONA). This is a classic Wilberesque clue. A fresh, funny take on the old crossword standby MONA.
• 29A: Sleeper, for one (CAR). A sleeper is a railroad passenger car with beds. I like riding the train, and I've always wanted to sleep in one of those little compartments. I'm anti-claustrophobic. (Is there a word for that?). I like sleeping in small, enclosed spaces.
• 38A: Gluck opera based on a Euripides play (ALCESTE). I had no clue on this one, though I do enjoy a nice Fettucine Alceste.
• 39A: Like architecture involving cedar shakes (SHINGLE STYLE). Another "huh?" entry for me, but it was easy to piece together. Yes, Shingle Style is a real thing. Opera & architecture aren't among my areas of expertise. The nice thing about a Wilber puzzle is that he draws entries and clues from a myriad of subjects. If you don't like the baseball clue, keep reading, because you'll find at least one clue that hits your sweet spot.

• 43A: Pinned arrangement (UPDO). Lots of updo discussion on the blog earlier this week. I hope this was a gimme for most of you.
• 52A: Cattle drive gear (RIATAS). This is a term for "lassos" that you're not going to see much outside of crosswords. And to make it more confusing, it's often spelled REATAS. For more info, check out this helpful CW101 entry on RIATA
• 61A: "This doesn't look good, guys!" (WE'RE TOAST). Probably my favorite entry of the day.
• 1D: Curling tool (BROOM). Were you still thinking about updos? Nope, it's a reference to that bizarre Canadian "sport" of curling.
• 2D: The Khmer Rouge overthrew him (LON NOL). Cambodian leader with an awesome name.
• 14D: It requires a lot of simmering (CONSOMMÉ). OK, Brad found another of my weak spots, cooking. I'm fairly worthless in the kitchen, but I can whip up a mean Tomato Winning Salad.
• 32D: "He won't be missed" (NO LOSS). Ouch. That's a downer of a clue.
• 35D: Bistro appetizer (ESCARGOT). I like the fact that this entry is matched up symmetrically with CONSOMMÉ. They're both dishes that sound suspiciously French.
• 40D: Tried hard (STRIVEN). Every puzzle has at least one ugly entry, and this is it.
• 48D: "Honour is ___ scutcheon": Shak. (A MERE). Spoken by Falstaff in "Henry VI, Part 1." A scutcheon is a heraldic device used to decorate a coffin.

• 58D: Pronoun in a rebus (EWE). Remember those rebus puzzles on "Concentration"? A picture of a EWE often stood for YOU. I collected bottle caps when I was a kid, and I picked up most of them off the ground. (No, my mom was not a fan.) My favorites were the Lucky Lager caps because they had rebus puzzles on them. They must be tough to solve when you're half-drunk.
• 55D: Show with an "American Bandstand"-like spoof called "Mel's Rock Pile" (SCTV). Wow, did I love this clue! "SCTV" is one of my favorite shows, and "Rockin' Mel's Rock Pile" (featuring Eugene Levy as Rockin' Mel Slirrup) is a classic bit. The Rockin' Mel clips on YouTube are low-quality, so I'll leave you with a beauty video of Bob & Doug McKenzie

OK, I'll see you hosers tomorrow.

02.27 Sun

S U N D A Y
February 27, 2011
Jeremy Horwitz & Byron Walden

[Note: This is the syndicated L.A. Times puzzle. It does not appear in the actual newspaper, but is available for free at cruciverb.com.]

Theme: "It's an Honor Just to Be Nominated" — The eight films for which Peter O'Toole received a Best Actor Oscar nomination...and lost.

Theme Entries:

• 1A: *1964 (BECKET).
• 7A: *2006 (VENUS).
• 28A: *1968 (THE LION IN WINTER).
• 43A: *1972, with "The" (RULING CLASS).
• 65A: *1982 (MY FAVORITE YEAR).
• 67A/71A: *1962 (LAWRENCE OF ARABIA).
• 72A: *1969 (GOODBYE MR. CHIPS).
• 96A: *1980 (THE STUNT MAN).
• 112A: See 127-Across (BEST ACTOR OSCARS).
• 127A/128A: Performer nominated for 112-A (he didn't win any) in all the answers to starred clues (PETER O'TOOLE).

Hi, everybody. Brad Wilber here, making my INAUGURAL (83D) foray into public puzzle commentary. Doug, I’m sure, surmised that asking me to guest-solve on Oscar Sunday would be the equivalent of a lazy pitch right over the plate to Ron CEY (54A) or Mel OTT (78A). I won’t claim to be top movie maven among cruciverbalists —- not with John Farmer and others out there –- but I am something of a student of Oscar and lack only 25-30 films in my long-running aim to see every Oscar-nominated performance in major categories (all four acting races, Picture, Director, writing, cinematography, etc.)

So did I have an overconfident start to the puzzle? Yes, I think that’s fair to say. Confronted with dates as my only clues to theme entries, I started penciling in Best Picture winners, and it was my bad luck to start with 1969 at 72A. MIDNIGHT COWBOY fit neatly. But oops – 1980’s ORDINARY PEOPLE did not find a home at 96A. So I shrugged philosophically and allowed my eyes to light on the last clue on the page. Great – TAO (120D). And, of course, the bottom line of the puzzle is where the key twist on the Oscar theme lurked. As soon as I knew Jeremy and Byron were giving us a splendid tribute to PETER O’TOOLE – well, at the risk of sounding obnoxious, I could lay in all the theme entries without waiting for crossings. MIDNIGHT COWBOY was gone in a cloud of eraser dust, replaced by GOODBYE MR. CHIPS (you know this version is a quasi-musical, right?). Then the rest, with a brief pause at 112A before I could pin down that BEST ACTOR OSCARS was going to be plural.

If you’re going to serve up a tribute puzzle, this is the way to do it and please the purists and the completists. All of the films for which O’Toole was nominated appear, and with gratifying symmetry, entries BECKET / VENUS mirror PETER / O’TOOLE. Having to snip the initial article from THE RULING CLASS to make it fit must have been a mildly galling moment for our constructing duo, but not a big deal. Compensation – having three of the films stacked in adjacent rows right at the heart of the grid (MY FAVORITE YEAR, CHIPS, and a split-up LAWRENCE OF ARABIA).

So theme-wise I had just one “light bulb” moment as opposed to seven or eight, but movie knowledge alone does not give you a finished puzzle. I still had plenty of work to, with lots of fun moments along the way.

Bullets:

• 1D: Like the most secure passports nowadays (BIOMETRIC). This is the kind of cluing that makes me pleasantly gooey inside – an elegant snippet of writing, specific but still a bit mysterious, and offering a break from strictly lexical match-ups. Ditto U.S. BORDER at 88A (It runs through four Great Lakes). 
• 7D: Facilities for many ex-GIs (VFW HALLS). With V__H__L_ in place from my movie titles, I was betting on VALHALLA before I saw the clue.

• 44D: Remedy for a pain in the neck (NERVE BLOCK). New crossword entry born out of the need to have the N, the E and the B in their appointed spots. But also eminently familiar.
• 65D: “Who wants candy?” response ("ME! ME!"). Much more verve in this cluing avenue, to my mind, than in asking for an Internet MEME. Excuse me while I go get a bag of Swedish Fish.
• 70D: "Ice Age" unit, e.g. (CEL). Going along quickly, I almost put CEN. as an abbreviation for “century,” since ice ages, you know, took a while. I have a feeling that’s just the kind of gentle trap the guys wanted to lay for us. But...maybe it wasn’t deliberate at all. Speaking of AGE, a few extra minutes of my life went by before that answer occurred to me for 111A (It always increases). Nice!

• 99A: Tennis shoe that debuted at Wimbledon in 1966 (K-SWISS). The first all- leather sneaker, with a striped shield logo. File it in that part of your brain where the other tennis apparel is, like ELLESSE (go, Chrissie!) and FILA.
• 81A: How nice that OSH by itself it a (Kyrgyzstan city) and we don’t have to have a rhyming fill-in-the-blank.
• 47A: (Item, such as interest, recorded only when earned) clues NON-ASSET, another entry new to me. Sometimes when I go through puzzles my lack of background in accounting and economics is a non-asset.

• 92D: Prince Andrew’s younger daughter (EUGENIE). Did you waver between EUGENIA and EUGENIE? Moseying right next door – come on! Given the timing can we not have LESBIAN referencing “The Kids Are All Right” (nominated for four big awards tonight)? Although that movie technically involves three parents, two of whom are lesbian, so the potential clue suddenly becomes more syntactically complicated than the one we got.
• 60A: It was pretty cool to get almost to the end of the puzzle and encounter a double-J with HAJJI (Muslim pilgrim). The crossing at 62D made me recall that I thought "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog Millionaire" was a little bit inert compared to the infectious giddiness of the VERY best Bollywood numbers. Anybody agree?

• 25A: A.O. SCOTT should send Byron a gift basket – this is at least the second occasion Byron has worked the New York Times film critic into a puzzle (2009-'10 "At the movies" cohost).

• The puzzle has a fair amount of cross-referencing even apart from the instances needed to execute the theme. The fellows turned such a nice trick with ONE-SEATER (22A and 39A) that I wished they could have shoehorned LAUDER into the grid and spared us a stand-alone ESTEE at 107D. Oh, well.

In case you do trivia at your Oscar party tonight, here are some other “bridesmaid” multiple nominees: Richard Burton (7), Deborah Kerr (6), Thelma Ritter (6), Glenn Close (5), Irene Dunne (5), Albert Finney (5), and Arthur Kennedy (5). Directors Clarence Brown, King Vidor, and Robert Altman also have 5 nominations each, without a win.

Back to O’Toole for a minute. Do I think he was ever “robbed”? Truthfully, no. In the abstract, yes, I think he deserves to have an Oscar on his mantel as much as anyone. But considering each of the years in which he competed, it’s hard to imagine changing the verdict in Peter’s favor. You wouldn’t want Gregory Peck to be without his award in 1962 for TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, and at that stage voters probably thought the upstart O’Toole had plenty of time for a future victory. In 1964, whatever you think about Rex Harrison in MY FAIR LADY, how could you give an Oscar to a guy in BECKET who didn’t play Becket? In 1968, voters were happy enough to let THE LION IN WINTER accolades go to Hepburn, and Cliff Robertson had the trump card of playing a sympathetic soul coping with disability instead of a braying king. 1969’s nomination for MR. CHIPS was more recognition for maintaining dignity in the face of bad material than a dog that would hunt. And all of O’Toole’s remaining nominations (1972, 1980, 1982, 2006) found him up against can’t-miss performances (Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone, Robert DeNiro as Jake LaMotta, Ben Kingsley as Gandhi, and Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin).

What Mr. O’Toole needed, in my opinion, was another movie like LAWRENCE OF ARABIA whose sheer scale could have better absorbed his big acting style. His LORD JIM (1965) is such a film – an underrated one – and I think if he’d been able to snag a nod that year he might have been in with a real shot. Or I do wonder what would have happened if he’d slipped in as a Supporting nominee in 1987 for his tutor in THE LAST EMPEROR – by then, doing some very subtle work.

Geez – I’ve overstayed my welcome and sort of strayed from the puzzle. Let’s go to the videotape!

Peter O’Toole was given an honorary Oscar in 2003. Initially he wrote to the Academy begging off, saying he wanted to win “the lovely bugger outright,” but he showed up to receive his honor and gave a speech that oozed class. If you're one who holds the view that plenty of Oscar winners have sentiment and politics to thank as much as merit, maybe you'll agree with one of the comments made during O'Toole's campaign for VENUS, to the effect that an O'Toole win at some point in history would have legitimized Oscar, not the other way around:

2003 – O’Toole recipient of Honorary Oscar

Some other Best Actor clips of Oscar ceremonies involving O’Toole (he’s only shown in two of them). Presenters Sally Field and John Travolta both have deer-in-the-headlights syndrome:

1969 – O’Toole in Goodbye Mr. Chips loses to John Wayne

1972 – O’Toole in The Ruling Class loses to Marlon Brando

1980 – O’Toole in The Stunt Man loses to Robert De Niro

1982 – O’Toole in My Favorite Year loses to Ben Kingsley

Others who received a competitive acting nomination or win AFTER being awarded an honorary Oscar are Henry Fonda, Paul Newman, and Alec Guinness.

2006 – Peter O’Toole in Venus loses to Forest Whitaker

Thanks for allowing me to visit...and ramble...everyone. If you'll be tuning in to the ceremony tonight, enjoy!

02.05 Sat

S A T U R D A Y February 5, 2011
Brad Wilber and Doug Peterson

Theme: None

Wow. Tough puzzle today. I'm not going to whine about it being too easy, that's for sure. I did end up finishing it on my own with no mistakes, but I sure did have a lot of missteps along the way. The hardest one to figure out was probably when I had JOINER where MOONIE was supposed to go (7D: Unificationist). For some reason my brain only saw "unify" and not "Unification." With that J in place, I figured 7-Across must be JURORS. They reflect … on the … evidence … right? what? No, it doesn't really make any sense, but it did at the time! MOONIE eventually came to me, except I misspelled it MOONEY at first so that also caused a few problems. I'm not going to beat myself up too much about that section though because … um, MUSERS? That's a pretty bad entry (7A: They reflect). I do love DON VITO CORLEONE and EDWARD G. ROBINSON stacked up like that though (13A: Role for which its actor refused an Oscar / 16A: Actor who said "Some people have youth, some have beautyóI have menace"). So maybe MUSERS was worth it? I don't know. What do you think?

The southeast was the last section to fall for me. I had THE GEICO in place and could only come up with the gecko -- I couldn't remember what that other ad campaign was all about. Oh yeah, the CAVEMEN (45A: Offended parties in a long-running series of [TV ADS]). I don't recall too much about those CAVEMEN (I mean, really! do people watch commercials any more??), but here's a caveman I kinda like:

HAVE AN AHA MOMENT (48A: Experience sudden inspiration) took a while to show itself too. I was pretty sure [33D: Seder bread] was MATZOH and I thought [31D: Mrs. Norris in the "Harry Potter" books, e.g.] might be a HOUSE-ELF instead of a HOUSE CAT, so I was looking at HAVEANAHL for quite a while. And even when the correct phrase finally became clear I have to say I don't really think of an AHA MOMENT as inspiration so much as clarification. But maybe that's just me.

Other missteps for included ERA for EON (19A: Proterozoic, for one), THX for PLS (36A: Brief memo nicety), LOBE for TIRE (4D: Spot for studs), ETA for ETD (5D: Terminal abbr.), and THO for E'EN (10D: Yet, to Yeats).

Other than the long acrosses, highlights of the grid for me included:

• 6D: Reward for rolling over (DOG TREAT). Although I kinda wanted it to be "doggie treat," right?
• 12D: Less likely to mix (SNOOTIER). This word always makes me think of the Sneetches.
• 15D: Near-decades (ENNEADS). ENNEA- is a prefix meaning nine.

Couple more things:

• 28A: Gardener's soil hauler (TIP CART). I don't believe I've ever heard of this.
• 32A: Albéniz piano work (IBERIA). Whatever you say!
• 35A: Court official's call (FAULT). Tennis court.
• 42A: Top 10 hit from U2's "Achtung Baby" album (ONE).


[Yes, I know this isn't the U2 song.]

• 21D: Messing with a script? (DEBRA). She played Grace on "Will & Grace." She was also in an early "Seinfeld" episode. I want to say she was "Mulva" but I think that was the actress on "Frasier." Messing was the one who … did something else. (It's getting late, folks.)
• 30D: Political blog feature, often (PET PEEVE). I don't understand this clue at all. Maybe it's because I like political blogs and think they're awesome. Do other (normal?) people think they're just a place for people to rant about their PET PEEVES?
• 35D: Donnybrook (FRACAS). I sometimes confuse "donnybrook" with "boondoggle." Both awesome words, by the way. As is FRACAS.

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Everything Else — 1A: Bumpy, in a way (RUTTED); 17A: General at Cold Harbor (MEADE); 18A: Latish alarm setting (TEN A.M.); 20A: Family title word (OURS); 21A: Pool feature (DRAIN); 22A: Have no use for, and then some (HATE); 23A: Use a tap, perhaps (SPY).

24A: "We need to talk" ("SEE ME"); 25A: Rage (MANIA); 26A: On the defensive (AT BAY); 27A: Put on guard (WARNED); 31A: Impedes (HAMPERS); 33A: Magazine with a "Best Places to Live" feature (MONEY); 34A: Gauge (METER); 39A: Gym set (REPS); 40A: Speciously highbrow (ARTSY); 41A: Send sprawling (TRIP); 43A: Equine facial marking (BLAZE); 44A: "Take __!" (A HIKE); 49A: Investigates, with "into" (DELVES); 50A: Airfield fixtures (TOWERS); 1D: Didn't stay where it should, as a skirt (RODE UP); 2D: Not on the ball (UNWARY); 3D: Show stoppers (TV ADS); 8D: __ sprawl (URBAN); 9D: Hardly odds-on (SLIM); 11D: Sitcom about the Conners (ROSEANNE); 13D: Out-of-the-box models (DEMOS); 14D: Like Twinkies filling (CREAMY); 22D: Hideous hybrid of myth (HARPY); 24D: It may be winding (STAIR); 25D: "American Buffalo" playwright (MAMET); 26D: Range units (ACRES); 27D: Without vigor (WANLY); 28D: "Lie to Me" star (TIM ROTH); 29D: Patsy's protest (I BEEN HAD); 36D: Novice's text (PRIMER); 37D: Compares (LIKENS); 38D: Wiped out (SPENT); 40D: 1955 Dior innovation (A-LINE); 41D: __ park (THEME); 43D: Theodore, to Wally (BEAV); 44D: Swear (AVOW); 46D: Coiffure holder (GEL); 47D: Te-__: Mexican cigar brand (AMO).

01.15 Sat

S A T U R D A Y

January 15, 2011
Brad Wilber


Theme: None

Ya know how I'm always whining about how the late-week LAT puzzles aren't hard enough? Yeah, today, not so much. Wow. A big DNF for PuzzleGirl today. I could not get that northeast corner to fall. The reason I'm so late posting this is because I was working on the puzzle this morning and just knew if I gave myself enough time I could crack it. But no. Here's what happened. I know that sometimes when you're absolutely positive that an answer is correct, you just have to erase it and start over. I know that. I know that! So I erased that whole area getting rid of RICH, ERN, MOMA, and I LIKE IKE — all of which I felt really confident about. Ya know what I left in? AGHA. I had AGHA where SHAH was supposed to go and that kept me from finishing this one. Now, I'm not gonna lie to you. There were plenty of issues before that. With ERN in place, I thought 12D would be some kind of "drive" ("DVD drive"? "USB drive"?). I tried "O'Jay" for the 17A: Disco family name before the Bee Gees (i.e., the Brothers GIBB) finally came to the rescue. So, yeah, I struggled up there quite a bit even before I got to the real problem. And here's the thing. I thought I was being so smart knowing that an imaginary monster might be a CGI-something — CGI being an acronym for Computer-Generated Imagery, which is what a computer animator might use to create an imaginary monster for a video game or movie or whatever. That's why I couldn't let AGHA go. And why CHIMERA was Ne-Ever going to come to me. Argh. I really enjoyed this work-out and am disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to finish it.

There's plenty more to talk about, but I'm late posting as it is, so if you have questions about the puzzle, ask away in the comments. I know someone here will be able to answer them!

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Everything Else — The Lean One, in "Peer Gynt" (SATAN); 25A: Directional suffix (-ERN); 26A: "... __ we extinguish sight and speech": Browning (ERE); 27A: Kennedy associate (ALITO); 29A: Nitrogen compound (AMINE); 31A: Lupe's "Later!" ("ADIOS!"); 32A: Van Helsing's creator (STOKER); 33A: Serving (PORTION); 36A: Imaginary monster (CHIMERA); 37A: Certain Honshu resident (OSAKAN); 38A: Exotic smoothie ingredient (GUAVA); 39A: Lennon love song (WOMAN); 40A: Arens of Israel (MOSHE); 41A: Part of HUD: Abbr. (DEV.); 44A: Logical tips? (ELS); 45A: Mom's dinnertime plea (TRY IT); 47A: Pundit (SWAMI); 49A: Handbook list, briefly (REGS.); 51A: Otherwise (IF NOT); 53A: Spanish cordial (ANIS); 54A: Latin I word (AMAT); 55A: Dramatic atmosphere source (FOG MACHINE); 57A: Somewhat, with "a" (MITE); 58A: Some tree sculptures (TOTEM POLES); 59A: Frost lines? (POEM); 60A: Inventory site (STORE ROOM); 1D: Mulligan, e.g. (DO-OVER); 2D: White Rabbit's cry (I'M LATE); 3D: Rabbitt's "You and I" duet partner (GAYLE); 4D: Derby-wearing Addams (ITT); 5D: Water testers (TOES); 6D: Neosporin target (ABRASION); 7D: Rodeo twirlers (LARIATS); 8D: Sees through (IS ONTO); 9D: Sealy competitor (SERTA); 10D: Cleaning aids (RAGS); 11D: 1950s Irving Berlin campaign song (I LIKE IKE); 12D: Modern storage aid (CD BURNER); 13D: Sultry Cuban dance (HABANERA); 14D: Jim with 589 lifetime homers (THOME); 22D: Luminous (RADIANT); 24D: Locals (NATIVES); 28D: Savanna stalker (LION); 30D: NYC home of Dali's "The Persistence of Memory" (MOMA); 31D: Alaskan island (ATKA); 32D: Bygone Persian title (SHAH); 33D: PA system essential (POWER AMP); 34D: The Tony Martin hit "There's No Tomorrow" is based on its melody (O SOLE MIO); 35D: English Channel resort (RAMSGATE); 36D: Pitch target? (CUSTOMER); 38D: Attending (GOING TO); 40D: "Oh, ri-i-i-i-ght!" ("MY FOOT!"); 41D: "The Merry Widow" hero (DANILO); 42D: "8 Mile" rapper (EMINEM); 43D: Workbench gadgets (VISES); 46D: Schisms (RIFTS); 48D: Exultant yell (WAHOO); 50D: Goblet feature (STEM); 52D: Not very edgy (TAME); 56D: Lifeguard's skill, for short (CPR).

S A T U R D A Y November 13, 2010 Brad Wilber and Doug Peterson

Theme: None

Wow. These guys really know what they're doing! Full disclosure: One of today's constructors is my Fake Crossword Boyfriend. So right up front, just to let you know I'm not playing favorites I will say that NEEDLE HOLE stinks to high heaven. I mean, that's just pathetic. And the clue makes it even worse. Perhaps Doug or Brad will stop by and explain themselves. Now that we got that out of the way ….

Wow! Love the long answers, love the cluing — this is just an all-around excellent puzzle. As usual on a Saturday, there were several things that I just flat-out didn't know. Like:

• 1A: Single-season RBI record-holder since 1930 (HACK WILSON). Never heard of him, but that's a pretty awesome achievement. According to his Wikipedia page, Wilson played for the New York Giants, the Chicago Cubs, the Brooklyn Dodgers, and the Philadelphia Phillies. In the first game he ever played as a professional, he broke his leg. And he died at age 48. Sounds like he had an interesting, but unfortunately short, life.
• 16A: __ de soie: bridal gown fabric (PEAU). Let's just say I'm not an expert on bridal gown fabrics.

• 25A: Esmeralda's goat in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" (DJALI). I didn't know this, but I think it's probably fair. That's a super unfortunate cross with 26D: Cryer in a sitcom though. JON Cryer? Seriously? For those of you who don't know, he's on "Two and a Half Men." Oh wait, he was also in "Pretty in Pink" back in the day. Maybe I should have known him. Whatever the case, that J was the last letter I put in the grid and I'm gonna guess I'm not alone.

My missteps included trying "Ali" for ITO at 19A: Nagano Olympics torch lighter, "Hunter" for LAUREN at 44A: Holly of Hollywood, and "Dutch elm" for WITCH ELM at 5D: Shade tree native to the British Isles. I also had AGEE and then, inexplicably, OGEE, before INGE at 6D: "Bus Stop" playwright. No idea what the hell that was all about.

A lot of medium and long sparkly fill in this grid. I particularly enjoyed IN RARE FORM and ONE-MAN ARMY (60A: Knocking 'em dead / 65A: Rambo, notably). BLUE PERIOD looks good in the grid, as does BAR SCENE (30D: Years in which Picasso's art took a somber turn / 40D: What eHarmony users can avoid). Oh and BATMOBILE (13D: Wheels in a cave)! And MOB RULE! Those are awesome! I'm not sure I've ever seen the word 39A: Ochlocracy before, but the answer materialized pretty easily nonetheless.

Bullets:

• 20A: "Cinderella" opener? (CEE). This is one of those literal letter clues that we see on occasion. The word "Cinderella" starts with the letter C (cee).

• 21A: Like season 8 of "Dallas" (DREAMT). Oh yeah, I had a misstep here too. I tried "a dream" first. At least I knew what the clue was getting at though! (By the way, we all still agree that whole dream thing was stupid, right?)
• 29A: Dealt with a fatal error, perhaps (REBOOTED). Since you're all reading this, I assume you didn't have any troublel catching onto the computer jargon.
• 37A: "Moriae Encomium" author (ERASMUS). I don't know this title, and I just barely know this author, but the answer became clear with a few crosses in place.
• 3D: "Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming," e.g. (CAROL). See this is the difference between early- and late-week puzzles. On Monday this clue would be "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." But Saturday? Something you've never heard of. (And by "you," I of course mean "I.")

• 8D: Fed. loan source (SBA). Small Business Administration.
• 9D: GOP segment? (OLD). GOP = Grand Old Party.
• 12D: First actress to play Yente in Broadway's "Fiddler on the Roof" (BEA ARTHUR). Who knew? I loved Maude.
• 32D: Any of the "Ocean's" movies, e.g. (HEIST FILM). I'm a big fan of the "Ocean's" movies. Of course I'm the one who, when PuzzleSister asked me back in 1996 which movie I thought would win Best Picture, replied with no hesitation "The Rock."

• 34D: Ultra-reliable team members (MAINSTAYS).
• 55D: Big name in TV talk (TYRA). Tyra Banks. Can't say I'm a fan.

Well, it's supposed to be a gorgeous day here in the D.C. metro area, so I'm going to try to get outside. Oh, but one quick announcement before I go. Some of you may know that I typically don't solve the Sunday puzzles. I post the grid, the theme, and the answers for you, but there's no write-up. Well tomorrow (speaking of Doug Peterson!) Doug Peterson will be here to get the conversation started on the Sunday syndicated puzzle. So come on back!

Crosswordese 101 Round-up:

• 28A: Salty delicacy (ROE).
• 6D: "Bus Stop" playwright (INGE).
• 11D: Basilica section (APSE).

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Everything Else — 11A: This ans. is one (ABBR.); 15A: Not beyond belief (IMAGINABLE); 17A: Elementary level (FIRST GRADE); 18A: Focus of some H.S. prep courses (SAT'S); 23A: Light-footed woman (SYLPH); 31A: Sched. gap letters (TBA); 32A: Skywalker player (HAMILL); 35A: Eastern theatrical style (NOH); 36A: Gambler's voucher (CHIT); 41A: Bulb output, maybe (IRIS); 42A: "... and too many to mention" letters (ETC.); 45A: Stray, in a way (SIN); 46A: Reacts to an affront, maybe (SPUTTERS); 48A: Living room sets (TV'S); 49A: Temporary tattoo dye (HENNA); 50A: Put forward (STATE); 54A: Less flabby (FITTER); 56A: Bad liar's giveaway (TIC); 58A: Lap dog, briefly (POM); 59A: "By Jove!" ("I SAY!"); 64A: About 5.88 trillion mi. (LT. YR.); 66A: High point in a Western? (MESA); 67A: Circumscribes (DELINEATES); 1D: Old living room sets (HI-FIS); 2D: Good relations (AMITY); 4D: Metric meas. (KGS.); 7D: I-35's southern terminus (LAREDO); 14D: Like many a jalopy (RUST-EATEN); 22D: Divested (of) (RID); 24D: Goody two shoes (PRISS); 27D: Quark's milieu (ATOM); 33D: Upstart (ARRIVISTE); 36D: It's rolled out at a patisserie (CRUST); 38D: Leave agape (STUN); 43D: UPS unit (CTN.); 46D: Byron's "__ Walks in Beauty" (SHE); 47D: Geisha's mat (TATAMI); 51D: Left on the bridge (APORT); 52D: "It Wasn't All Velvet" memoirist (TORMÉ); 53D: Pair on the réumé of 12-Down (EMMYS); 57D: Caspian Sea country (IRAN); 61D: Vane dir. (NNE); 62D: Seminary subj. (REL.); 63D: Govt. agency with a wing on its seal (FAA).

SATURDAY, June 12, 2010 — Brad Wilber

Theme: NONE — As always, a themeless Saturday.


This was a little tougher than we've seen this week, and that's a welcome change. I didn't struggly mightily or anything, but I did have to chip away at a few sections. I didn't know that FERNS don't have seeds (22A: Seedless greenhouse denizens) or that CHARD is a 27A: Vitamin K source. And I predictably misspelled NAPOLEON in NAPOLEON COMPLEX (14A: Source of overcompensating bravado). I always want that second O to be an A. What's up with that?

The southeast corner held me up for quite a while. I threw in BURNS (42D: Seethes) and DEAN (45D: Academic list keeper) easily enough, but had a lot of trouble with everything else down there. ECHOER is an ugly word (38D: Parrot), but I think it's the only real clunker in the grid. But it's right next to MAYFLY (39D: Bass prey) which I love despite the fact that I needed every single cross to get it. So that kinda helps cover up the clunkiness.

Other WTFs for me today include:

• 13D: Crystalline gypsum variety (SELENITE). If you say so!
• 44A: Actress Palmer (LILLI). Never heard of her. Of course as soon as I type that, I look her up on Wikipedia and some very very faint bells start ringing in the back of my head. I've probably seen her in a puzzle before.
• 32D: Air pressure unit (MILLIBAR). Y'all know I'm not real sciencey, right?

Oh and I wanted galas for BALLS (41A: Black-tie events). One last thing that took me a while to understand was ENTR (21A: Start of an intermission?). This entry refers to the term entr'acte, which is French for "between the acts" and, therefore, a synonym for "intermission." So ENTR is the start of a word that means intermission. Clear as mud?

My faves:

• 26A: Declaration in a playground game (NOT IT). I'm a big fan of the colloquial phrases. Especially if they're juvenile.

• 28A: Over (FINITO). This word must be accompanied by dramatic hand gestures. But you knew that.
• 32A: One who doesn't do Windows? (MAC USER). Cute clue.
• 42A: Florida's __ Chica Key (BOCA). I've never heard of this place but I love the way it sounds.
• 50A: Impertinent (SNIPPY).
• 7D: Hobby involving launches (ROCKETRY). Because I had misspelled NAPOLEON, this was looking like RACKE*** for a while. Yikes!
• 16D: Unknown (X-FACTOR). It's kinda cool, kinda mysterious, and it's got an X. Win-win-win!
• 36D: Meager (PALTRY). Is this word used to describe anything other than a "sum"?
• 48D: Sch. with a yearbook called the Gumbo (LSU). HAha! Totally inferrable and simultaneously hilarious!

If you like this puzzle, you should check out Brad's blog, where he'll be offering occasional free themeless puzzles. The good news for us solvers is that each puzzle will have two sets of clues, hard and easier. I love the idea and plan to support Brad in his new adventure. Hope you will too!

Crosswordese 101: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI) is, indeed an 47D: Engineering sch. on the Hudson. Clues for RPI will often reference Troy, N.Y. (which is considered "upstate" New York). Occasionally, it's helpful to know that its sports teams are known as the Engineers. Wikipedia tells me RPI is "the oldest technological university in the English-speaking world." The reason I've heard of it? Tyler Hinman went there.

Other crosswordese in the puzzle that we've already covered:

• 18A: Old Greek theater (ODEON).
• 10D: Bootleggers' nemeses (T-MEN).

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Everything Else — 1A: One in a coup group (USURPER); 8A: Tenochtitl·n founders (AZTECS); 17A: Stay away (DISTANCE ONESELF); 19A: Carpenter with drums (KAREN); 20A: Van Halen's "Somebody Get __ Doctor" (ME A); 23A: Judicial seat (BANC); 24A: Flare, maybe (SOS); 25A: Makes an example of (CITES); 29A: Yin and yang, e.g. (DUALITY); 33A: Native Alaskans (INUITS); 34A: Seemingly charmed entrepreneur (MIDAS); 35A: Rival of Sparta (ARGOS); 36A: Like unsorted mail (PILED); 37A: Beaut (GEM); 40A: Course objectives for many (PARS); 43A: Ophelia's niece, in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" (EVA); 45A: Peer's realm, perhaps (DUCHY); 46A: 2009 addition to Wimbledon's Centre Court (RETRACTABLE ROOF); 49A: Like a master criminal (SLIPPERY AS AN EEL); 51A: Loses all its water (RUNS DRY); 1D: Annuls (UNDOES); 2D: Declined (SAID NO); 3D: Sports page headline grabbers (UPSETS); 4D: Turning part (ROTOR); 5D: Design (PLAN); 6D: Morn's opposite (E'EN); 8D: Nuts in cupules (ACORNS); 9D: Tunes (out) (ZONES); 11D: Mini-albums, for short (EPS); 12D: Showy arbor vine (CLEMATIS); 15D: Approached (NEARED); 22D: Edicts (FIATS); 23D: Employee of the Month incentive (BONUS); 25D: Markers (CHITS); 26D: Battery acronym (NICAD); 27D: Madison Avenue honors (CLIOS); 28D: Diminishes (FADES); 29D: Nursery supply (DIAPERS); 30D: Figures out (UNRAVELS); 31D: With a browned crust, as potatoes (AU GRATIN); 34D: First woman to receive the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry (MILLAY); 37D: Expand the admission pool, in a way (GO CO-ED); 41D: Arm wrestler's pride, as it's commonly called (BICEP); 44D: Reindeer herder (LAPP).

SATURDAY, March 27, 2010—Brad Wilber

THEME: No theme today—It's a themeless puzzle

Eh, I don't love puzzles whose corners are filled with 7-letter answers. There are some good ones in there, 'tis true, but there are also such answers as FOLIATE, TEARIER, ARRANGE, and EROSION that are just kinda there.

On the plus side, the puzzle was tougher than most L.A. Times crosswords, and hit around a Friday NYT level. Not this Friday's NYT, but the standard Friday NYT difficulty (4:22 for me).

The high spots:

• 1A: To [Google oneself] is to EGO SURF.
• 16A: [Scale used in summer weather forecasts] is the UV INDEX. I'm heading to Florida for spring break, and I believe the UV index may figure into things despite it not yet being summer.
• 24A: The late JFK, JR. is the [Only non-actor ever chosen as People's Sexiest Man Alive, familiarly]. Plenty of non-actors (e.g., a meteorologist for the Weather Channel) make it into the Sexiest Man issue, just not onto the cover for the official title.
• 32A: [Dagwood's boss] is MR. DITHERS. Anyone else try to put BUMSTEAD in there, forgetting that it's Dagwood's surname? I remembered that the boss was married to Cora long before I could extract his last name.
• 43A: [Extemporized] means ad-libbed or WINGED IT.
• 61A: [Pack rat] clues HOARDER. I haven't seen that Hoarders show on TV yet, but my mother's been watching it. She takes comfort in the fact that the people on the show are a half a notch worse than her. "She kept broken shards of a plastic hanger because she thought someone else might use them in a craft project! I would never do that!" So says the woman with socks from the '80s and a collection of used Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cups and plastic lids.
• 1D: Good clue! A [Tip for an exam taker?] is the ERASER on the tip of a pencil. Oh, wait, I never even saw 51A with the same clue, only this time the answer is the NIB of a pen. Man, do I love cherry Nibs. They're awful, really, all sticky sugar and starch and dye, but I like Nibs better than any other sort of licorice.
• 2D: The GAG REEL is a [Common DVD bonus feature]. I have yet to see one that's actually hilarious.
• 6D: [Wrap again, with questionable etiquette] clues REGIFT. There's a fine line between sensible repurposing in a green fashion and unloading your crap on someone who won't want it any more than you do.
• 8D: [Enviable scholarships] are FULL RIDES. If you were the recipient of a full-ride college scholarship, tell me in the comments so I can ooh and aah.
• 38D: On Sesame Street, [Bert has one, but not Ernie]—a UNIBROW.
• 45D: Who doesn't love the ["Doonesbury" hippie] ZONKER? How did he manage to afford to be a sophomore for 13 years? Was he getting an endless full-ride scholarship or what?

I did not know the song in 52A at all. I was hoping it was a blues song, but it turns out to be a 1957 happy-pop song. Here you go, ["Kisses Sweeter __ Wine": Jimmie Rodgers hit] (THAN):



Crosswordese 101: EEOis clued as [Want-ads fairness pledge: Abbr]. It stands for "equal employment opportunity." Guess what other answer gets similar clues? EOE, or "equal opportunity employer." So when you see a clue for a 3-letter abbreviation having to do with hiring or help-wanted ads, you know the first letter is E but have to lean on the crossings to know if it'll be EEO or EOE.

Everything Else — 1A: Google oneself (EGO SURF); 8A: Produce greenery (FOLIATE); 15A: Exceeded, as a time limit (RAN OVER); 16A: Scale used in summer weather forecasts (UV INDEX); 17A: Way back when (AGES AGO); 18A: Researcher's garb (LAB COAT); 19A: Mlle. counterpart (SRTA.); 20A: Card game declaration (I CALL); 22A: Start to dominate? (PRE-); 23A: Want-ads fairness pledge: Abbr. (EEO); 24A: Only non-actor ever chosen as People's Sexiest Man Alive, familiarly (JFK, JR.); 25A: Like some kitchens (EAT-IN); 27A: Apology element (REGRET); 29A: Cockpit reading (AIR SPEED); 31A: MGM co-founder (LOEW); 32A: Dagwood's boss (MR. DITHERS); 33A: "Star Trek" (2009) villain (NERO); 35A: Case for notions (ÉTUI); 36A: Life partners (TRUE LOVES); 40A: Chimes in (ADDS); 43A: Extemporized (WINGED IT); 44A: Faux (ERSATZ); 46A: Crawling with creepers (IVIED); 47A: In advance (EARLY); 49A: Dude (BRO); 50A: Tip for an exam taker? (NIB); 51A: Key of Mahler's "Symphony of a Thousand" (E FLAT); 52A: "Kisses Sweeter __ Wine": Jimmie Rodgers hit (THAN); 53A: Italian pistol (BERETTA); 56A: Database with openings (JOB BANK); 58A: Deforestation concern (EROSION); 59A: Orchestrate (ARRANGE); 60A: "__ Creek," TV series that launched Katie Holmes's career (DAWSON'S); 61A: Pack rat (HOARDER); 1D: Tip for an exam taker? (ERASER); 2D: Common DVD bonus feature (GAG REEL); 3D: Pizzeria shout (ONE TO GO); 4D: Cubs' all-time home run leader (SOSA); 5D: The Cavaliers of the ACC (UVA); 6D: Wrap again, with questionable etiquette (REGIFT); 7D: Monastic attire (FROCK); 8D: Enviable scholarships (FULL RIDES); 9D: Many a racetrack (OVAL); 10D: Empowerment word (LIB); 11D: Entrepreneurial monthly (INC.); 12D: Anne of Green Gables, for one (ADOPTEE); 13D: Less stoic (TEARIER); 14D: Stretches (EXTENDS); 21D: Slightly cracked (AJAR); 24D: Like FabergÈ eggs (JEWELED); 25D: Puget Sound, e.g. (ESTUARY); 26D: Rose garden bane (APHIDS); 28D: Back out (RENEGE); 30D: Slowing, in mus. (RIT.); 32D: Oscar night devotees (MOVIE FANS); 34D: Poet McKuen (ROD); 36D: Half a sleeping pair (TWIN BED); 37D: Mediterranean hot spot (RIVIERA); 38D: Bert has one, but not Ernie (UNIBROW); 39D: "Too many more to mention" abbr. (ET AL.); 41D: Expert (DAB HAND); 42D: Idiosyncratic (STRANGE); 44D: Banderillero's foe (EL TORO); 45D: "Doonesbury" hippie (ZONKER); 48D: Indian royal (RAJAH); 51D: Hugh Laurie's alma mater (ETON); 52D: Vanishing slope sight (T-BAR); 54D: Three dots, to Morse (ESS); 55D: Familia member (TIO); 57D: Top at the shore (BRA).

SATURDAY, February 27, 2010—Brad Wilber

THEME: No theme today—It's a themeless/freestyle puzzle

We're back within range of the usual Saturday L.A. Times crossword's difficulty level—this one took me as long as a Wednesday-to-Thursday NYT puzzle. There's some odd fill that requires reliance on the crossings (yes, even for the world's 13th best solver of American crosswords), and there are some clues that venture far afield of mere definitions. (Such clues tend to be my favorites.)

I said hi to Brad Wilber at the ACPT and told him that although plenty of people have called him their nemesis lately, I don't think he's that tough. And I don't. If you handle the other constructors you encounter here on a Saturday, you can tackle Brad. Don't be scared! He's totally non-scary in person. He's a librarian, for Pete's sake. You're not going to be afraid of a librarian who's not going to fine you for returning a book late, are you? (Photo by ACPT photographer Don Christensen. That's Brad on the left clinking glasses with Bruce Venzke, who had last Saturday's LAT crossword byline. No, wait. Brad is clinking with a salt shaker. Bottoms up!)

Cool stuff:

• 1A: [Game with a hollow ball] (TABLE TENNIS). That clue doesn't narrow things down much, does it?
  
• 15A: [Unexpected nickname of a Hughes Aircraft plane built mostly of birch] (SPRUCE GOOSE). That's Howard Hughes. I missed the recent(ish) movie in which Leonardo DiCaprio portrayed Hughes.
  
• 17A: [It won't go out] (TRICK CANDLE). Infuriating when trick candles delay one's attack on a birthday cake!
  
• 21A: [Hypothetical links] (APEMEN). As in "the missing link."
  
• 24A: [Annual event won five times by Fred Couples] (SKINS GAME). This is one of those golf things I've heard of but don't understand.
  
• 47A: [Men's periodical, in British slang] (LAD MAG). I wasn't sure if this was LAD MAG or LAD RAG. I think the term glad rags muddled my head.
  
• 10D: [1975 Elton John chart-topper] ("ISLAND GIRL"). YouTube time!
  
  
  
  
• 13D, 50D: [El Capitan's locale] (YOSEMITE) and [Natural steam source] (GEYSER). "I'll take National Parks of the West for $1,000, Alex."
  
• 22D: [Anti-intellectual epithet] (EGGHEAD). I don't care for anti-intellectualism.
  
• 29D: [Sunkist offering] (ORANGE SODA). No! Orange likes Diet Coke.
  
• 36D: [Holey vessel] (COLANDER). Love this clue!
  

Weird stuff:

• 34A: [Table d'___] (HOTE). Ouch. Don't want to find yourself with no choice but to use "table" in a clue when TABLE TENNIS makes itself quite obvious at 1A.
  
• 39A: [Upset winner at the 1992 Kentucky Derby] (LILETEE). Wha...? That's Lil E. Tee, apparently. Horse racing trivia is tied with nautical terminology for my least favorite crossword fill.
  
• 8D: [Demand-based, briefly, as charter plane services] (NON-SKED). Any of you ever hear this word before? I haven't. Between 39A and 8D...oy.
  
• 53D: [Fox hunt cry] (HALLO). "Hallo"? Does this go with "tally-ho"? Onward, to the dictionary! Dictionary says HALLO is a variant of "halloo," which is an exclamation "used to incite dogs to the chase during a hunt." There you have it.
  
• 57D: [Opp. of a petitioner, in court] (RESP.). Respondent? To me, RESP. is short for respiration or respiratory, but I don't know that those are accepted abbreviations. Dictionary tells me resp. means respondent, respective(ly), or respelled. Respelled? That means "spell a word again or differently, esp. phonetically in order to indicate its pronunciation." Okay, so I'm glad RESP wasn't clued with that sense.
  

Crosswordese 101: One of my favorite clues today, 54A: ["Yo, Hadrian!"], takes us to the Latin greeting AVE. Much of the time, this is clued as the abbreviation AVE., short for "avenue," or as the fill-in-the-blank hymn ["___ Maria"]. If you see a clue tying a greeting for Hadrian, Caesar, the Forum, or a generic "old"/"bygone" era, it's AVE you want.

SATURDAY, January 30, 2010—Brad Wilber

Looking for the puzzle in Across Lite? Here's a backdoor link to the Cruciverb LAT archive.



THEME: No theme today—It's a themeless/freestyle puzzle

This week's Saturdaypalooza was a bit harder than usual, no? Brad Wilber also makes much harder puzzles for the New York Times, and there are those who call him their nemesis. So it's not supposed to be easy—you're supposed to have a little gnashing of teeth before everything comes together.

Brad WilbEr's puzzle reminds me of Friday's NYT crossword by Doug Peterson—roughly the same number (14 here, 16 there) of long entries (8+ letters), tons of sparkle in the featured phrases and words, and some Scrabbliness. The clues were easier overall, this being an L.A. Times puzzle.

By the way, that's Brad WilbEr, with an E, not a U. Lotta people spell it as Wilbur. Anyone have a good mnemonic for remembering that this guy's name has an E? "WE like his puzzles." Or "WE call him our nemesis." These could work for NYT constructor Byron WaldEn (not Waldon), too.

Highlights:

• 17A: ["Fully loaded" purchase] is a DELUXE MODEL from the car dealer's showroom. I've got my eye on the new four-door Porsche sedan, the Panamera. The turbo model will run you $132K, about 40 or 50 grand more than the base model. Oh, wait. It gets 15 mpg city. Better look into the Ford Fusion Hybrid instead.
• 25A: [Like "Marley & Me"] clues RATED PG. Neither SCHMALTZY nor SACCHARINE would fit.
  
  
  
  
• 27A: ["Heartland" autobiographer] is MORT SAHL. This political humorist's last name shows up far, far more in crossword grids, so it's nice to see the full name. The clue...the clue was no aid to solving. I ventured over to YouTube to find a good Sahl clip to embed here but...I watched two videos and was not remotely entertained. So instead, here's Patton Oswalt. Do not play the video if swear words trouble you because he does cuss a bit. Also? My friend's four-year-old boy is a dead ringer for Patton Oswalt. It's uncanny.
  
  
  
  
• 37A: [Footwear ill-suited for stealth] includes clunky, cloppy wooden CLOGS. Now, the rubber-soled Merrell clogs, those are great for sneaking around.
• 55A: [Castaway's dream come true] is a RESCUE PLANE. Rescue planes have been in the news of late.
• 2D: ONE B.C. (aka 1 BCE) is the [Last year of its kind]. Calendars are weird, aren't they? They look like neutral dating systems but they carry more weight than that.
• 6D: Mnemonics! One [Geography-class mnemonic] is HOMES, for the Great Lakes: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior. Chicago's Michigan Avenue crosses the other four Great Lakes street names, running SHEO from north to south. I need a mnemonic to help me remember that it goes Chicago, SHEO, Ohio, Grand, Illinois.
• 8D: [Drunk's chaser?] is not the beer chaser after a shot, it's the suffix -ARD in drunkard. This is not the suffix in 9D: DIEHARDS, clued as [Hardly fair-weather friends]. Clueing them as [Hardly fair-weather fans] would have suggested the answer more strongly...but would've been easier. And we don't want that, do we?
• Bing, bang, boom, three in a row. Isn't this a great corner stack? 10D: [Some limo sharers] are PROM DATES. 11D: [Anti-diversity type] is a XENOPHOBE. (My son is a homophonophile.) And who doesn't love a 12D: SNOWGLOBE, that [Popular paperweight]?
• 28D: [Consequences of one's convictions] are JAIL TERMS. I like the mislead. These are not your philosophical convictions but the ones wherein you get convicted of a crime. (Not you personally, I hope.)
• 30D: [Upscale Roman shopping street] is VIA VENETO. I don't know a thing about it, but V-V phrases are nice, aren't they? Dang, all I can think of is "va-va-voom" and a gynecological disturbance.
• And this is one of the zippiest answers. It's not brand-new, no—other constructors have used it. But I still like it. 38D: [Homemade cassette with assorted songs] is a MIX TAPE. I haven't had one since senior year of college. I think people still call 'em mix tapes even though technology has moved past cassettes. No, wait. Do they just call 'em "mixes"? Help me out here.

Crosswordese 101: There's an 31A: Aptly named novelist Charles whose last name is READE. Get it? Read? READE? Har har! I bet no more than 1% of our readers have actually read a READE book. Novel titles you may see in READE clues include The Cloister and the Hearth, Peg Woffington, and Hard Cash. The key is remembering that there is an author with the name READE and that he shows up in crosswords from time to time. You will not be quizzed on his works.

See you folks again on Wednesday.

Everything Else — 1A: Winner of five of six A.L. batting titles from 1983 to 1988 (BOGGS); 6A: Produce unit (HEAD); 10A: Mil. stores (PXS); 13A: Taking undeserved credit, perhaps (ON AN EGO TRIP); 16A: Psychotic TV pooch (REN); 17A: "Fully loaded" purchase (DELUXE MODEL); 18A: "Bed-in for Peace" figure (ONO); 19A: Regress (EBB); 20A: Next (THEN); 21A: Barn loft (HAYMOW); 23A: Fish preparation gadgets (SCALERS); 25A: Like "Marley & Me" (RATED PG); 26A: Place for wallowers (STY); 27A: "Heartland" autobiographer (MORT SAHL); 28A: Joes at a diner (JAVAS); 31A: Aptly named novelist Charles (READE); 32A: As well (TOO); 33A: Perched (ALIT); 34A: Casual pants, briefly (CORDS); 35A: Friday player (WEBB); 36A: "Give __ rest!" (IT A); 37A: Footwear ill-suited for stealth (CLOGS); 38A: Paris's __ d'Orsay (MUS*Eacute;E); 39A: Volcanic crater feature (LAVA LAKE); 41A: Grafton's "__ for Noose" (N IS); 42A: Seismograph stimuli (TREMORS); 43A: Waltz segment (BOXSTEP); 47A: 1844 Verdi premiere (ERNANI); 48A: Act as lookout for, e.g. (ABET); 49A: Serial ending? (-IZE); 50A: Emmy-nominated Charlotte (RAE); 51A: Utility offering (ENERGY AUDIT); 54A: Sch. where Buzz Aldrin got a doctorate (MIT); 55A: Castaway's dream come true (RESCUE PLANE); 56A: __-pitch (SLO); 57A: 16-Across, e.g. (TOON); 58A: Hand net user, perhaps (EELER); 1D: Augurs (BODES); 2D: Last year of its kind (ONE BC); 3D: Nero's successor (GALBA); 4D: Serengeti antelope (GNU); 5D: Some chamber works (SEXTETS); 6D: Geography-class mnemonic (HOMES); 7D: 007's alma mater (ETON); 8D: Drunk's chaser? (-ARD); 9D: Hardly fair-weather friends (DIEHARDS); 10D: Some limo sharers (PROM DATES); 11D: Anti-diversity type (XENOPHOBE); 12D: Popular paperweight (SNOWGLOBE); 14D: Frank __, architect of L.A.'s Walt Disney Concert Hall (GEHRY); 15D: Missouri tributary (PLATTE); 22D: Thumbs-up (YES); 24D: Aspiring atty.'s hurdle (LSAT); 25D: Courses (ROADS); 27D: Amalgamate (MERGE); 28D: Consequences of one's convictions (JAIL TERMS); 29D: Communion line setting (ALTAR RAIL); 30D: Upscale Roman shopping street (VIA VENETO); 31D: Corner pieces (ROOKS); 34D: Its trill opens "Rhapsody in Blue" (CLARINET); 35D: Doormat (WUSS); 37D: Plant geneticist, at times (CLONER); 38D: Homemade cassette with assorted songs (MIX TAPE); 40D: Docs' lobby: Abbr. (AMA); 41D: "__ hath seen such scarecrows": "Henry IV, Part I" (NO EYE); 43D: Red Ryder, for one (BB GUN); 44D: Word with bore or basin (TIDAL); 45D: Paperless read (E-ZINE); 46D: Fizzle (out) (PETER); 48D: Not pizzicato (ARCO); 52D: That, to Teresa (ESO); 53D: Diminutive suffix (-ULE).