"Official Washington" Is The Last Outpost Of The Blackberry

I found this story to be quite amusing for a number of reasons. Here is the Washington Post with the details:

Outside Washington, the world is moving at warp speed away from the BlackBerry. At its maker, profits are declining and executives are leaving, and the BlackBerry has even conceded its perch as the top smartphone in its native Canada.

Inside the Beltway, time stands still. A half million federal workers — President Obama and his staff among them — are still thumbing little black keyboards on little black devices. And that number hasn’t dipped over the past few years while Research in Motion, BlackBerry’s maker, has recorded plummeting sales everywhere else.

The slow-moving federal bureaucracy is keeping the BlackBerry around. But RIM’s intensifying troubles and thriving rivals are confronting Washington with a question: Should it break its “crackberry” addiction?

Some agencies are already loosening their policies to let their workers choose other smartphones. Lawmakers and aides can now bring iPhones into the halls of Congress.

But, for the most part, the federal government hasn’t joined the smartphone revolution.

“We appreciate RIM’s focus on security, which is paramount for government use,” said Casey Coleman, the chief information officer at the General Services Administration. The agency has issued some iPhones and Android-based phones for staffers, but the vast majority of its 12,000 agency-issued smartphones are BlackBerrys.

But Coleman added that other platforms are proving equally secure. The GSA, she said, places “a priority on adoption where appropriate of innovative new technologies,”

Agencies and big contractors note that the BlackBerry is cheaper than the iPhone and many Android devices. IT departments across the government have years-long contracts with RIM and the wireless carriers that promote the device. And tech staffers at federal agencies are trained to fix BlackBerry products, which makes it harder to switch to new technologies, analysts say.

Plus, newer devices aren’t as secure as the BlackBerry, some agency officials said.

The slow pace of change has made the BlackBerry as much a part of federal culture as short-sleeve, white-collared shirts were among NASA engineers or lapel pins are among politicians on Capitol Hill. Some analysts even expect Washington to become the last bastion for RIM’s devices.

That would leave many Washingtonians with smartphone envy.

Paul Silder, a government contractor, says he feels stuck with the BlackBerry that the Department of Homeland Security gave him.

So the 44-year-old father of two is left longing for an iPhone or an Android that he can proudly tuck into the holster on his left hip.

“I want a bigger screen. I only really use it for work, but it would be nice to surf the Web more easily,” Silder sighs.

Not to be crass, Mr. Silder, but you should actually feel really lucky that you still have a secure, high paying job. It's infinitely better to be stuck with a small penis screen that to be foraging around in dumpsters for your meals.

Actually, the Feds may soon not have any choice but to change their cellphone technology:

Overall, BlackBerry’s dominance has quickly faded. Today, phones based on Google’s Android software account for 48 percent of the market, while Apple’s iPhone has 32 percent and BlackBerrys have dropped to a distant third place with 12 percent.

Last week, RIM reported quarterly earnings that missed analysts’ expectations. Its profit dropped to $418 million in the last three months of 2011, compared with the $934 million it earned during the same period in 2010. Several senior executives resigned their posts, including former co-chief executive Jim Balsillie. On Monday, RIM’s stock fell about 9.5 percent in regular trading.

It sounds like in a couple of more years, tops, that this problem is going to sort itself out. Much to the relief of this twit:

Lindsey Bowen, a 29-year-old program director at the Junior Statesmen Foundation, often has to defend her BlackBerry as iPhone- and Android-obsessed friends mock her device. Seen as outdated and uncool, it's become the Washington worker’s fashion equivalent of a hard-shell Samsonite briefcase.

“Tell us again, how many apps do you have on that thing?” they tease.

The mind reels at just how superficial some people can be.


Bonus: Sounds like the Feds are getting the long distance runaround

The Scum Also Rises: The 50 Most Powerful People in Washington

Once again, GQ Magazine has put together its list of the 50 Most Powerful People in Washington (other than Obama and Biden). The article is a slideshow with details on each person listed and why they were chosen, but I've reprinted the actual list below. Even though I think some of the choices are a bit daffy (the list includes Washington Nationals pitcher Steven Strasburg, but not Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi...WTF?), it really is all you need to know to know why we're screwed.

1. Eric Cantor: Virginia Representative, House Majority Leader

2. Mitch McConnell: Kentucky Senator, Senate Minority Leader

3. David Plouffe: Senior Advisor to the President

4. Leon Panetta: Secretary of Defense

5. Hillary Clinton: Secretary of State

6. Ben Bernanke: Chairman, Federal Reserve

7. David Petraeus: Director, CIA

8. Kevin McCarthy: California Representative, House Majority Whip

9. Peter Rouse: Counselor to the President, the White House

10. Tom Donohue: President, U.S. Chamber of Commerce

11. Tim Geithner: Treasury Secretary

12. John Boehner: Ohio Representative, Speaker of the House

13. Karl Rove, Steven Law, Ed Gillespie: American Crossroads & Crossroads GPS

14. Tommy Boggs: Chairman, Patton Boggs

15. Dan Pfeiffer: White House Communications Director

16. Gene Sperling and Jack Lew: Director, White House National Economic Council & New White House Chief of Staff

17. Chuck Schumer: New York Senator

18. Grover Norquist: President, Americans for Tax Reform

19. Chuck Todd: Chief White House Correspondent, NBC News

20. David Rhodes & Ben Rhodes: President, CBS News; Deputy National Security Advisor and speechwriter

21. Paul Ryan: Wisconsin Representative

22. Denis McDonough: Deputy National Security Adviser

23. Heather and Tony Podesta: Heather Podesta + Partners; Podesta Group

24. Chris Van Hollen: Maryland Representative

25. Paul D. Clement: Partner, Bancroft

26. Jim DeMint: South Carolina Senator

27. Kathy Ruemmler: White House Counsel

28. Joe Pounder: Research Director, Republican National Committee

29. Tim Scott: South Carolina Representative

30. Nancy Hogan: Director, Presidential Personnel

31. Brian Deese: Deputy Director, White House National Economic Council

32. Arne Duncan: Secretary of Education

33. Jake Sullivan: Director of Policy Planning, State Department

34. Ezra Klein: Blogger, The Washington Post

35. Rob Nabors: White House Director of Legislative Affairs

36. Bill Daley: (Former) Chief of Staff, White House

37. Patty Murray: Washington Senator

38. Capital Weather Gang: Bloggers, The Washington Post

39. Liz Cheney: Co-Founder, Keep America Safe

40. Mike Allen: Reporter, Politico

41. José Andrés: Restaurateur

42. Svetlana Legetic, Jayne Sandman, Barbara Martin: Party planners

43. Marco Rubio: Florida Senator

44. Jeremy Bernard: White House Social Secretary

45. Charles Krauthammer: Syndicated Columnist

46. Chris Dodd: Chairman, Motion Picture Association of America

47. Stephen Strasburg: Pitcher, Washington Nationals

48. Jack Quinn: Chairman, Quinn Gillespie & Associates

49. James Alefantis: Restaurateur and Bon Vivant

50. Bradley Graham & Lissa Muscatine: Owners, Politics & Prose

Bonus: Imagine how much better off we'd all be if Washington's very own Fugazi topped the list instead

More Than Half a Trillion Dollars Needed to Fix America's Water and Sewer Systems

Though the rapid deterioration of the nation's roads and bridges gets more publicity, the similar situation involving our water and sewage systems may in fact be even more dire, as indicated by this rather sobering story from the Washington Post:

At first glance, the pizza-size hole that popped open when a heavy truck passed over a freshly paved District street seemed fairly minor.

Then city inspectors got on their bellies with a flashlight to peer into it. What they discovered has become far too common. A massive 19th-century brick sewer had silently eroded away, leaving a cavern beneath a street in Adams Morgan that could have swallowed most of a Metro bus.

It took three weeks and about a million dollars to repair the sewer, which was built in 1889.

Time and wear “had torn off all the bricks and sent them God knows where,” said George S. Hawkins, general manager of the District of Columbia Water and Sewer Authority. “We have to find them and see if they’re plugging up the system somewhere farther down the line.”

Sadly, this isn't just a Washington story:

Although they are out of sight and out of mind except when they spring a leak, water and sewer systems are more vital to civilized society than any other aspect of infrastructure.

Rapidly deteriorating roads and bridges may stifle America’s economy and turn transportation headaches into nightmares, but if the nation’s water and sewer systems begin to fail, life as we know it will too. Without an ample supply of water, people don’t drink, toilets don’t flush, factories don’t operate, offices shut down and fires go unchecked. When sewage systems fail, cities can’t function and epidemics break out.

“All the big cities have these problems, and to me it’s the unseen catastrophe,” Hawkins said. “My humble view is that the industry we’re in is the bedrock of civilization because it’s not just an infrastructure that is a convenience, that allows you to get to work faster or slower. At least with bridges or a road, people have some idea of what it is because they drive on them and see them. ”

And just like roads and bridges, the vast majority of the country’s water systems are in urgent need of repair and replacement. At a Senate hearing last month, it was estimated that, on average, 25 percent of drinking water leaks from water system pipes before reaching the faucet. The same committee was told it will take $335 billion to resurrect water systems and $300 billion to fix sewer systems.

Kudos to the Washington Post for not understating what the risks are of this particular infrastructure crisis. And a crisis is what it is. For just about two-thirds of the cost of the Iraq War, America could have addressed this situation, which given the potential for a major epidemic outbreak is obviously a far greater threat to our national security than Saddam's Hussein's non-existant weapons of mass destruction ever were.

Probably, the most frightening part of this story came at the very end:

Firefighters are equipped with computerized cue sheets to tell them which of the 9,157 hydrants in the District have enough water pressure to put out a fire.

Someday, they are going to do that check and the answer is going to be "none." And then the city will really be in trouble.

But hey, didn't Rick Santorum say something stupid about gay marriage again on the campaign trail the other day? I guess all is well in the republic and this report can be safely dismissed as the ramblings of an unbalanced Cassandra.