Wh-Wh-What Did You Say?

Well school hasn't been as dismal as I first thought, but it definitely isn't easy or fun by any stretch of the imagination. Let's just... get that shit out of the way now. I'm back in full hating everyone mode because I am STILL angry about getting no fucking school positions. Is my life a JOKE?? There's like 60 people in my year at school And like 20+ leadership/captain/Head positions at my school... and I didn't get ANY. Is that like a breach of human rights or something? Cause it should be.

All vanity aside, which isn't much, I would've done a HELL of a lot better than any of the pricks that scooped up all the roles (excuse that charming term friends, but... deep down you know you deserve it.). I mean, it's ludicrous. I wouldn't use such a lame word in any other occasion, so you know I mean serious business - fuck you Garin for f-ing up my year. So now, like any other stupid 'average' student I just turn up at school, do all the shit and leave and it means nothing to anybody and overall - it's a waste of time & energy. Maybe I'll just go join the billions living in poverty & misery. You never know, at least everyone else would be in the same position - not randomly (it seems) being treated better than they deserve.

I'm fucked. At least I have "Kendra" to watch at 9.30pm, so half an hour of feeling miserable to go and then perhaps I'll lighten up and cheer up. And then go to bed and feel empty, depressed & drift off to sleep feeling like a waste of space... aka. my life for the last few months.

I need to find meaning.

And friends.