Ho-liday

I've decided to self-diagnose myself with depression for a number of reasons, and here's why. Firstly, I'm ugly and fat - and that's just the way I'm feeling right now but I guess I can't go on about that forevever, although it's likely I'll try.

Ok so here's one thing that's really bugging me... I'm really f-ing pissed I didn't go and see Lady Gaga's "Monster Ball" concert in Auckland last month! It looked SO amazing and although would've set me back $800, which btw is a fuckload of money, I reckon it would've been worth it - I'm just one of those hardcore little monsters that really feels like I'd do anything for Gaga! She's just so awesome! Although I must say, I saw her interview on "Music Station", the Japanese talk/music show and for some reason she just kinda bugged me. I normally love how she's quite expressionless and just seems so incredibly detached from "normal people", but she was sitting with some Japanese artists that I REALLY like and have also achieved MASSIVE success. I just didn't like seeing artists like Ayumi Hamasaki and the trio of 'Perfume' being sooo overshadowed and kinda ignored. I know my racist and English-loving-only friends wouldn't understand, but yeah, it kinda bugged me. Gaga did chat a bit with Ayumi which was good but it was all about Gaga - then again I guess she is the biggest star in the world right now so I shouldn't seem so surprised. It's just weird seeing such amazing and successful people being overshadowed. Whatever, at least Ayu got her latest single "Microphone" plugged - and Gaga's live performance of "Telephone" was pretty cool. (You can see this interview and the performance by clicking here.)

Anyway, another thing that's murdering my sanity - I'M SINGLE. Need I say more?? It SUCKS. I know a certain girl with the initials B.M. that'll be feeling the single life burn right now. Brutal.

Another thing - work! I shouldn't bitch because I've seen so many job-loss horror stories as a result of online bitching, but at the end of the day, no one at my job is going to admit my job is good or fun, it's just being a machine. Answering questions, bagging stuff, taking payments. A smart machine could do it. As much of an incentive as minimum wage is... I guess there is an incentive, study hard at school and GTFO to a better job! It's alright for part-time, but really sucks when I get to a Friday after school and everyone's like "Yay weekend!" and I'm like "Yay*, 8/9 hours of work tomorrow & an early start on a cold morning." Upsetting stuff.

More bitching? Why not? I agree. SCHOOL. Why is it sooo f-ing miserable, and is the 7am wake-up call for the 8.30am start really necessary? Talk about ruining my already pretty dismal life. I can't really be bothered whinging about school in particular cause at the end of the day, what can you do about it? Nothing really. Just have to struggle through with it, with smarter kids making me feel stupid and teachers making me feel unworthy & lazy. Gotta love it. -eyeroll-

Anyway, VERY quick holiday round up. Monday I don't think I did anything. I think I did though. I did do something actually... Not sure what. Oh yeah I had a Stage Challenge (dance) rehearsal, that was a joy. Tuesday... fuck I really can't remember. All I know is that on Friday I had a really long Stage Challenge Rehearsal, and then caught up with Brandon whose over from Australia & he stayed the night. Thursday I hung out with Nick & Oscar btw. Just remembered. Today Brandon and I went to town to hang out with Ashleigh and Natalie which was good, and Nick came literally at like 5pm when Ash and Nat had gone and Brandon and I were just on the phone with Ashleigh, DYING of boredom. We really were though. Nick, Brandon and I went to 'Café Affair' and... well, did nothing. Ate fatty bullshit, aka the story of my life. Tomorrow I have a, wait for it, FOUR HOUR STAGE CHALLENGE PRACTICE, I'm tired thinking about it - but hopefully it'll be good. Ok, sick of typing but... yeah. You love it.