The City of O-bee

Well I haven't blogged since Friday, gosh! Well I just didn't really get around to it but you'll have to build a bridge, and jump off of it. :-) Wait, was it just get over it? IDK, suicidal option is always better. Haha I have so much goss and so little tell.

WELL, Saturday I had work which was a good easy day and just worked my time and I bought a $40 straightener! It's hott, but sadly I don't reckon my hair looks terribly good with it but regardless; I will continue to use it! Then after work I was rushed off to Marahau (Abel Tasman) and got to see all of the changes my aunty had made to the place. The bathroom is a million times better and everything is just a lot nicer, she did very well! Horrible pillows though, I had a shocking sleep and I was cold as fuck!! Had like one miserable blanket, could have died! Shame I didn't actually, hmm...

Sunday I awoke at what I thought was reaally late but it only ended up to be 9.30am which means I must have been woken up and ever since tossing-and-turning since like 6am! Talk about early! Anyway after much time-wasting getting ready (as even after my bathroom time, I still emerged looking disgusting). I really am getting depressed about being fat and ugly still, might begin seriously looking at surgery options and begging my parents to pay. I literally need it.

School today was hellish, talk about accusations today! Felt like I was on trial "Are you anorexic?" "Are you wearing make-up?" "Are you going out with Nick?" Umm... yyyyeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss (aka. no) to the millions* of people reading.

Sitting in the corner of the school crying tomorrow lunch. I really wanted to wag some classes but I knew I'd get a pro-social (whatever that even means, well I know what it means aka. staying 2 hours after school, but the actual term 'pro-social' makes no sense. Whatevz.) so obvi I didn't.

Fuck I binged on cereal before! THREE weet-bix and then nutri-grain as well! With soy milk too, omg save me! Dare I mention the crackers with cheese and dip on them.

All of the above in normal English means, "I am going for an hour and a half uphill/downhill jog this evening." :-) This evening by the way, is in an hour and a half.

Edit: Bugger, I should have left for my run like half an hour ago, ugh will just have to do the normal Grampian walk. Toodles.

P.S. Oscar's a bitch.

Worst Day

God I had the worst day. Could I have any less friends? No is the answer. Why is dieting so horrible? I mean, I had three weetbix for breakfast and an apple, nectarine and a salad for lunch/morning tea so was good most of the day.

UNTIL I got farking home and binged on ham, cheese and tomato BS Mum made me. AND a little 250ml thing of Chocolate milk, two crackers, a gingernut ANNDD... a glass of soy milk! The whole day is ruined, I may as well had McDonalds for breakfast, K.F.C. for lunch, Wendy's for an after school snack and Burker King for dinner. Sick of being fat, and being harrassed for being 'skinny' today was not helping.

For the love of Fuck, just because I've lost some (and none recently) weight doesn't mean I'm a fucking CRAZED starvation-happy anorexic. But if I see another carb... I will have a break down.
Lezzest problems right now, sooo not discussing them here.

Didn't get into fucking Stage Challenge, I auditioned and was looking forward to it but didn't get in. So fucking stupid, hate everyone involved! Except for Katie-May, cause she's nice. And not really in charge. Whatever, guess I wasn't exactly amazing at the auditions, still... -_-

Going for a run/walk tonight. Refuse to be lazy. Would go for another one now but... actually why don't I? I just know I won't go later on.